it's gonna be a month in 30mins.

this time - im not as insane, not as depressed, not as much tears as the one before.
most probably because i've grow up - 23 this coming april as compared to when i was 18?
oh well, not that life's being great nor depressing.
rather, life now is simply... simple. routine. expected. quiet.

since one month ago, i fear even the touch of my computer - stopped using the computer, stopped using my mobile phone, simply cutting myself from the world out there.

though i started logging into my hotmail - and wow, hundreds of mails to clear, mostly from facebook - friends request, photos tagged, photos comments etc - yet, i haven't even click on those mail yet - simply left them there and see maybe in a few months i'll just click on those emails and look at those comments and messages.

msn and facebook is a serious NO NO for me now and maybe for the next few months.
sorry friends, i dont have the courage to log on msn/facebook fearing the fact i might see things that im totally not ready for - like him with another girl or something like that.

no. im totally not ready for anything.

im still a little too not over him.

though, im all smily at work and at times at home - something is still mssing.
incomplete.
it's weird.
sometimes, a mean of sudden saddness and emotion outburst might caused me silence, teary and sometimes frustration and anger. and i just couldn't help it - it's there - the emotions so real.

once a broken heart,
it will never be healed.

and i hold a damaged, utterly shattered broken heart, mind and soul - forever.

actually, i don't even know what im typing - my hands doing magic, my mind blank.

work's not that great but there's this group of people that makes my working day looks so much brighter and happier - only knowing that they will be there makes me not dread going to work.

during the past one month, they're like the only people i hang out with.
im so lucily to have them in my life during my most difficult point in life - they make me go out with them, makes me smile and sometimes i even laugh. thank you miners! [=

and im still trying.
for the next few months and years.
nothing will be the same and im still trying to live each day.

love is nothing but a lie.