cried for the past whole hour.
cried because the fear of losing.
cried because i love too much.
cried because my heart hurt too much.

disappointed with love.
disappointed with the person who claim that he loved me.
disappointed with myself for being so weak.

because i thought u will understand me one day, some day.

but im wrong.
never will u understand me.
never will u try understanding me.

i hope some day in the future, someone will finally understand me and love me the way i should be love.

i don't want to cry anymore.
i don't want to give anymore.
i dont want to hurt anymore.
i don't want to feel being neglected anymore.
i don't want to feel not needed and unwanted anymore.

i want to be happy.
i want to be loved.
i want to be unwanted and needed.
i want forever.

if i could use my life to exchange for a blissful relationship for just a short few years, i would.

because i rather live happy and loved for a meer 5 years or so than to cry my life away...

i don't ask for much.
i just need my bf to love me as much as i do.
i just need my bf to stay by my side as much as possible.
i just need my bf to understand me.
i just need my bf to know why i react in a certain way to a certain situation.

i just need u to... listen.

back to when i was 18.
when life's in it's darkest period.
when the sense of death is just so near.

history is going to repeat itself.